It was Alan Jay Lerner, the famous lyricist, who wrote these ridiculous words in the musical Camelot:
“How to handle a woman?…”
To which he offered an answer:
“Simply love her, love her, love her….”
Now…if you do your research, you will see that Lerner himself was married eight times! Why? I can’t say for sure but the phrase, ‘handling a woman’, certainly smacks of selfish desire. ‘Loving her’ was more about Lerner’s needs, not theirs. And so his wives all waved him goodbye…
Legend has it that the renowned marriage relationship psychologist, John Gottman, once advised a husband with marital woes to simply go home and ask his wife what her dreams are. And so he did, and she responded, with a loving smile,
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Love starts with true empathy: active listening, putting yourself in her shoes, connecting with her inner world.
Love in marriage is all about giving to your spouse, making her needs more important than yours.
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