top of page

Marianne Never Budged

“I just want you to give me my meds”, Marianne announced as she walked into my office.

This was our first meeting.

“Can we talk a little?”, I asked.

“What’s there to talk about?…..

I take Prozac for my depression, Xanax for my anxiety, Lithium for my bipolar, Zoloft for my trauma, Trazodone for my insomnia along with Melatonin, Seroquel for my obsessive thoughts, Adderall for my attention disorder, and Haldol for my voices….. The meds work, doc, they’ve been working for years.  I’m only seeing you because my previous psychiatrist retired.”

I was keeping count. 

Nine medications, nine psychiatric medications!

Madness, I thought to myself.   

But for Marianne this was no madness. This was her life.   She had neatly categorized each medication with a particular diagnosis, as if the complexities of life could be reduced to a label and a pill. 

Marianne had little interest in talking about her life.   Having been abandoned by her parents at a young age and raised in foster homes, she trusted no one.  In our third meeting, I softly inquired about trauma; she looked away.

The years have gone on.

Marianne has remained a closed book.

I once told her that I made up a song about her nine medications and sang it to her -  but her facial expression remained stoic, neither humored nor insulted.

Marianne never budged.  And after time I realized that I had become her enabler, dutifully keeping her on her nine, count ‘em, nine psychiatric meds.   

In her odd way, Marianne was happy with her lot.  She felt safe, reassured, cared for.

Not coming out of her comfort zone.

A little bit like all of us.

5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Enter My Universe

Room 110:  Seeing this patient for the first time, I greet him with: “Good morning, Joseph, what brought you into the hospital”? “Doc, my name is ‘Big Joe’, that’s what everyone calls me.” “OK, Big Jo

Micky and Laura

Fifty two year old Micky D was walking and weaving into traffic along the Pennsylvania Turnpike.  When he told the police that he was heading to Philadelphia (250 miles away) to his girlfriend, they c

Another Day In Paradise!

Room 101:  Gus, a former heroin addict, is in an intense manic episode. He’s hyper, with pressured speech, screaming out his mantra: “Give me Adderall!, give me Adderall!”. I try telling him about Lit


bottom of page